Buddha and Impermanence: Why Accepting Change Is Good for You

Among the three "marks of existence" at the heart of the Buddha's teaching, handed down in the Pali Canon, is anicca: impermanence. Everything conditioned — the body, relationships, moods, even the seasons — arises, changes, and passes, without exception. According to this teaching, much of human suffering (dukkha) arises not from change itself, but from our grasping at what we wish would stay still: youth, a relationship as it was at the start, a moment of happiness we'd like to hold onto forever. Accepting impermanence doesn't mean giving up loving or wanting things — it means giving up a battle that, by definition, cannot be won.

This ancient insight has found a surprising bridge to contemporary psychology. American psychologist Steven Hayes, founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), has explicitly acknowledged the influence of Buddhist psychology on the development of his approach: at the center of ACT is the idea that fighting unpleasant thoughts and emotions — trying to control or eliminate them at all costs — often makes them stronger, while learning to welcome them as transient experiences, without identifying with them, reduces anxiety and suffering more durably. Numerous clinical studies have confirmed the effectiveness of this approach, now among the most widely used in third-wave cognitive-behavioral therapy.

A small exercise inspired by this tradition: faced with a change you're struggling to accept — a relationship ending, an aging body, a dark mood that seems like it will never pass — try telling yourself mentally, "this too is impermanent." Not to minimize the pain, but to remind yourself that no state, good or bad, lasts forever: loosening your grip, instead of tightening it, is often the first step toward feeling better.

Sources

• Teaching on impermanence (anicca), Pali Canon (Tipitaka), early Buddhist tradition.
• Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.