In 1841 the American philosopher and writer Ralph Waldo Emerson published an essay made to last: Self-Reliance. One of its best-known lines is this: “Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.”
Emerson observes that in the works of great authors we recognise our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain “alienated majesty”. The point, he says, is that the idea was already ours and we had not trusted it. And he adds that whoever wants to be truly themselves must accept not always being understood: “To be great is to be misunderstood.”
Psychology has a word close to this idea: authenticity, meaning living in line with what you truly think and feel. In 2020 Anna Sutton brought together 75 studies, with 36,533 participants, in a meta-analysis published in Personality and Individual Differences. Authenticity turned out to be positively associated with well-being (r = 0.40) and with engagement (r = 0.37).
Caution is needed, though. This is an association, not proof that being authentic makes people happier: the reverse could also hold, or other factors could be involved. The author also notes that most studies use Western, individualist concepts and measures, and calls for more research on the role of culture. And Emerson is not a psychologist: his is a philosophical invitation, not an experimental result.
Trusting yourself does not mean ceasing to listen to others: it means listening to yourself as well. A small exercise, which is our own suggestion and comes neither from Emerson nor from the study: for one day, before even a minor choice (what to order, which film to watch, which opinion you usually keep quiet) pause for a second and ask yourself: “what do I actually think?”. Then decide whether to say it, and how.
It is not about always being right, but about not losing your own voice along the way.
And you, what is the idea you keep in a drawer and have not yet trusted? Share it in the comments, even in a few words.
Sources
- Emerson R.W. (1841). Self-Reliance, in Essays: First Series.
- Sutton A. (2020). Living the good life: A meta-analysis of authenticity, well-being and engagement. Personality and Individual Differences, 153, 109645. DOI: 10.1016/j.paid.2019.109645.
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